How Having a Baby Can Affect Your Relationship

When you become a parent, you and your partner will undergo changes that you might not have been able to foresee. No matter how prepared you are, there are always aspects of parenting that come as a surprise. Babies inevitably change the dynamic of a relationship, in both challenging and wonderful ways.

Sleep

Sleep is perhaps the most obvious change that will take place in your relationship. Babies, especially newborns, require round the clock care, and the parents’ sleep schedule is therefore interrupted. Lack of sleep can cause irritability and make it difficult to concentrate. You may find yourself snapping at your partner or arguing over what would normally be small decisions.

One strategy for getting as much sleep as possible is for you and your partner to switch off. It may seem like a good bonding opportunity for both parents to be up with the baby at night, but trading responsibilities can give you more quality time together. Some parents have the mother breastfeed the baby during the night, and then have the father take care of the baby during the daytime so the mother can nap.

Bodily Changes

Intimacy will undoubtedly change between you and your partner, at least for a while. Many new mothers find that they aren’t as interested in being intimate, because it’s hard to balance feeling sexually attractive and feeling like a parent. The mother has also undergone natural, physical changes that may temporarily cause pain or cause her to feel self-conscious about her appearance.

Keep lines of communication open between you, so that each partner knows why the other isn’t interested in intimacy at that time. When you’re not physically intimate, you’ll want to plan quality time together, even if it is just for 20-minute intervals. Go for a walk, hold hands, or schedule a babysitter in order to see a movie. Physical intimacy will resume in time, and in the meantime, you can do other activities to feel connected.

Household Responsibilities

Since babies take up so much time, you’ll probably find that your house gets a little messy, even if you normally keep it very clean. Especially with the sleep deprivation, couples find that they snap at each other about household responsibilities. New parents can set up a time to discuss household chores while the baby is sleeping. In order to resolve conflict and avoid shifting blame, come up with a list of chores and decide who is responsible for which. Ideally, this list should be realistic and allow for some flexibility. Post your list in a convenient location, like on the refrigerator.

It’s important to cut yourselves some slack while caring for a new baby. Praise yourself and your partner for accomplishments, both large and small.

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How to Determine if Your Newborn Son Should Be Circumcised or Not

The decision to circumcise or not circumcise, your newborn can be a very difficult one. While all parents want the best for their children, it isn’t always easy to determine which choice will have the most positive impact on your child’s health and well-being.

Circumcision is the surgical removal of the penis’s foreskin, which is typically performed in the first few months of an infant’s life. Research suggests that there are potential health benefits associated with circumcision, but it also shows that the procedure is not without certain risks.

Benefits and Risks

In 2012, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) ruled that the potential benefits of circumcision slightly outweigh the associated risks. However, they found that the benefits are not significant enough for them to recommend circumcision for all newborns, stating that parents should feel free to make the decision they feel is best for their own children.

After a careful review of the available research, the AAP determined that circumcision was associated with a reduced risk of contracting the human papillomavirus (HPV), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), genital herpes and syphilis. It also reduces the risk that sexual partners will contract cervical cancer, and reduces the incidence of urinary tract infections prior to age one.

The risk of minor complications from a circumcision is between one and three percent, and these complications may include infection or extra bleeding. The risk of more serious complications that require follow-up surgery is less than one percent.

One guaranteed downside of circumcision is that it hurts. The pain and soreness shouldn’t last more than a few days, and newborns won’t remember the pain, but many parents aren’t comfortable putting their child through that discomfort when it isn’t absolutely medically necessary.

Making Your Choice

In the end, your decision regarding circumcision is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. Religion and culture may play a role (those of the Jewish and Islamic faiths traditionally opt for circumcision) as well as your family or personal history.

Some parents opt for circumcision simply because they want to make sure that their children fit in with their peers. However, the Centers for Disease Control reported in 2010 that the rate of circumcisions in hospitals have dropped to about one-third. So don’t feel pressured one way or the other by the fear that your kid will stand out—these days, there are plenty on both sides of the fence!

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Tips For Caring For Your Partner When She Is Pregnant

When your partner is pregnant, you need to bare in mind that your are in this together. She may be carrying the child, but it just as much yours as it is hers. So you need to be supportive and help where you can. You should also be understanding to the fact that carrying a child is no easy task and let her off the hook when she tends to express herself in more ways than one.

Understanding Pregnancy Hormones

Hormones play a large role in the development of the child, and can cause a range of emotions in the mother. These emotions can range from bursting happiness to a low, painful depression, and these shifts in emotions can happen in minutes. As the partner of a pregnant mother, it is your job to understand that these changes in emotions are part of the pregnancy process, and are not easily controlled by the mother. Be nurturing and supportive, understand that these emotions are not easily controlled, and try and help the mother to remain positive and bright.

Antenatal Depression

This goes along with the subject of pregnancy hormones, though is usually more severe than just simple mood swings. Antenatal depression occurs when the mother begins having feelings of uncertainty. While this often passes quickly, in some mothers it tends to linger. If there is a case of antenatal depression, it is even more important for the partner to be very supportive of the mother, and to try and keep her focused on the happy points and the outlook for a bright future.

Be 100% Involved

This extends to more than simply knowing the various phases of the pregnancy and knowing that the phases will change and evolve throughout the pregnancy, it requires the partner to be in-tuned with the mother during these changes, and to be ready to help and support the mother throughout all phases. This is especially important in the later stages of pregnancy, when mothers are beginning to feel that very strong connection between her and the unborn baby… It is important for this connection to be a trinity between you, the mother and the baby. Do all you can to let her know that you are a part of this.

Learn to Share Feelings

This is important for the mother as well, but here we will focus on the partner of the mother. Your feelings are important too; and, while you should remain supportive of the mother’s feelings all throughout the pregnancy, don’t let her forget that your feelings matter too. This will also help to support the trinity of the mother-child-partner connection.

Support and love are the main points to be remembered when caring for a pregnant mother. Make sure that above all, you are on the same page with what is going to happen, you both know that you are in it together 100% for the entire 9 months, and let her know that you are a rock she can lean on, but to remember that you are an emotional being with feelings as well.

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Tips To Help You Through Your First Year Of Parenting

Becoming a parent require a big change. Parents to be are often taunted with phrases like, “sleep while you can” and while these statements do contain some truth, there is no reason why your first year of parenting should not be enjoyed. Having a newborn baby will definitely require a lifestyle change. However, you baby’s infancy is such a short lived time and you will look back at this phase with fondness, one day.

New born babies are not used to big spaces. They have been confined to a small space for 9 months and getting used to large spaces will take some time. Swaddling your little one will do wonders. Babies love to be cuddled and swaddled. This helps them to sleep better and as a result, so will you. Babies often wake at night. For you this means that the chances of getting your 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep are slim. However, you should sleep when baby sleeps. So if baby sleeps for a few hours during the day, you should also try and get some sleep during this time, so that the waking at night doesn’t drain you out.

You must also understand the effect your crying baby will have on you. There are few parents that can handle the sound of their baby crying without feeling like their going insane. This is why the parent who has the most tolerance for baby’s cries should see to baby, while the other walks away and can return when baby has stopped crying to relieve the other parent. Pediatricians and psychologists both agree that you cannot spoil a baby. So carry your baby as often as he or she wants to be carried. Research suggests that babies who are carried cry less. In fact in cultures where babies are carried most of the time, colic is literally non-existent. Looking after a newborn baby is time consuming, so don’t try to focus too much on getting chores and other things around the house done, if your hands are full with baby.

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Warning Signs That Your Teen May Have An Eating Disorder

Teens are increasingly becoming susceptible to the development of an eating disorder. The pressure to be thin is massive due to their constant exposure to ideal images in the media. It’s a difficult time for young people and parents need to be there to support them. Observe your teens for the following signs of eating disorders:

Dramatic Weight Loss

If you see them drastically losing weight, then look more closely into their eating habits. There is a difference between healthy weight loss and an unhealthy one brought about by a crash diet. Radical fluctuations are also a red flag. They may get thinner quickly but then gain back all that the lost and possibly more, repeating in an endless cycle.

Obsession with Weight

Another sign is an obsession with weight which may be manifested by frequent use of the bathroom scale. They may constantly talk about food and the labels containing nutrition information. Being aware of their nutrient and calorie intake is commendable but they can go overboard. It is especially alarming if they are always on the lookout for new types of diets and trying them out.

Excessive Fluid Intake

Some people try to limit their calories by drinking large quantities of fluid. This makes them feel full quickly thus reducing their craving for food. Although the body has high tolerance for fluid intake, drinking too much too fast can lead to hyponatremia which is a dangerous state of electrolyte imbalance. The fluids must have ample nutrients like sodium and potassium as well.

Food Avoidance

Watch closely if your teens are starting to avoid meal times as well as other situations that involve food. This may be an indication of an underlying eating disorder that’s causing them to withdraw from communal activities. Aside from being unhealthy for their physical well-being, it is also detrimental to their social life.

Self-induced Vomiting or Substance Abuse

In extreme cases, teens resort to vomiting to get rid of the food they ate and prevent weight gain. Others try to control their weight through laxatives and diuretics. There are also plenty of diet pills on the market. Talk to your child if you see these behaviors.

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Common Fears New Dads Have

Fatherhood comes with a lot of responsibilities and most men are frightened out of their wits. This is especially so when one is a new dad. It doesn’t matter how excited one is for their new baby — chances are that the experience scares them. Here are some of the fears that new dads experience when expecting a baby.

Will I Perform My Dad Duties Well?

All new dads are clueless when expecting a baby, which is totally okay. Any dedicated dad can take care of their new baby. If they are not too sure about a certain area of fatherhood, all they have to do is ask the mother whose instincts kick in the minute they get pregnant or have a baby. Practicing how to take care of the pregnant wife or new baby will do the trick.

Will I be Able to Take Care of my Family Once the Baby Arrives?

Do some research on how much it will cost to raise a baby and then figure out how much you’ll need to set aside. Making a baby budget will help you set up a game plan and give you relief.

Will Everything I do Be centered Around the New Baby?

While a baby will alter your life in various ways, you’ll come to realize that there are a lot of activities you can go on with your baby. Besides, some of your friends will be more than willing to step in and help out where and when necessary.

Will I be Forced to Give up My Social Life When the Baby Arrives?

A baby will definitely alter your schedule. But that doesn’t mean that your entire life will be baby-centric. You and your partner can take turns taking care of the baby. For instance, you could take care of the baby on some weekdays and have the weekend to yourself.

Will I be Having Enough Sleep?

This issue can be equally handled by both parents. You and your partner can alternate shifts, where one takes care of the baby during the nights while the other rests.

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Tips For Not Raising “Entitled” Kids

Sometimes, you let your child get away with things that they should not. For example, you may let them keep the loose money they collected from the drawer, let them get away with not doing their chores or sometimes let them have it their way even though you know it is entirely wrong. This may lead to development of an entitled child if not checked. Well, instead of letting your child grow up thinking it is fine to do some things, here are parenting tips that may help you in being the best parent.

Help them learn how to deal with disagreements with their friends. If you get in the way all the time a battle erupts, the child may not learn how to deal with problems when they arise in future. Therefore, teach them how they can deal with certain situations effectively by themselves. As a parent, you can tell when your child is doing well or not. You also have the ability to tell when things are getting out of hand and your assistance is needed. In such situations, handle the situation with care to enhance amicability in the next course of action.

You are the first authority that your child looks up to. You are therefore at a position to create the rules of the house. You are also at a position to reward good deeds and point out areas that need improvement. To avoid raising entitled kids, practice your authority consistently. Do not let them get away with some actions just because you are not in the mood to deal with the child. If a child does something wrong, give them a deserving punishment and make them understand why it is wrong to act so.

Parents have the tendency to compare children. However, children are of different abilities and characters and they should not be compared. Using one child as a benchmark for the other may prove problematic since the child who is always compared to the other may have self-esteem issues. Remember the child needs to develop his or her own character and comparing them may not help matters.

Love your child unconditionally but do not let their actions deter you from taking disciplinary actions when need be. Ensure that the child understands what is wrong or right form the earliest time possible. Ensure you cater for all the child’s needs to avoid issues later on in life. Give them attention, help them in understanding complex issues in life and ensure their basic needs are catered for properly.

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Teaching Teens About Abstinence

A NIMH-funded research carried out in the year 2010 indicated that teenagers who received intervention focused on abstinence were less likely to engage in sexual intercourse at an early age. This was not the case in teens who only received a general intervention focusing on health. Here are some of the statistics gathered from the research on how teaching teens about abstinence can help delay sexual activities.

Background

Sexually active teens are at a high risk of getting unplanned pregnancies, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. The rate of those experiencing the negative outcomes of sex is higher in African Americans than it is in their peers. Studies show that an intervention focusing on behavior reduces the risk of HIV and STI. However, according to policymakers, it is not yet clear which type of intervention is most effective. Most states use programs that only focus on abstinence. However, most abstinence-only programs have been deemed ineffective for their lack of proper research, moralistic approach, and negative portrayal of sex.

Here are some of the most common programs used in schools in most states in America.

Abstinence-based

This program focuses more on educating teens on the benefits of abstinence. Teens are taught about STIs and unplanned pregnancies and how abstinence can help them attain their goals for the future. Teens are also taught skills on how to resist temptation and pressure to have sex.

Safer Sex

This program focuses more on teaching teens how to protect themselves during sex. Teens are encouraged to use condoms whenever they engage in sexual intercourse.

12 hr Comprehensive

This programs is a combination of both abstinence intervention and safer sex. Teens are encourage to use protection, but only if they are not able to abstain.

Significance

Studies on the all available intervention programs regarding sex show that abstinence-only programs work well in discouraging sex among teens. However, the same research shows that the results collected cannot be used to generalize other programs. This is because different programs work for different crowds in different parts of the world.

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Understanding The Rights Of The Father

Sometimes, divorce happens, and can come in the way of a family, but both parents have a right to foster a relationship with their children. As a father, you need to understand your rights in order to enjoy them. Here is a guide to the rights of the father in any broken relationship when it comes to children.

Child Support

Child support is the money that the non-custodial parent pays regularly to support in paying the expenses of the child. If as a father you have custody of the children, you may be entitled to child support from the mother of your children. The amount you receive is dependent on several factors and it can be arrived at amicably or you may use the legal system if the mother of the child is not willing to pay.

You may ask for the revision of the terms of the child support payments in circumstances when your living conditions have changed, to cater for such things as high rates of inflation and to lower payments if you have been retrenched or sacked.

Visitation Rights

As a father, you have the right to visit your children. In most cases, the visitation periods are set up through a court system or through an agreement with the mother. The mother should not interfere with your visitation rights. However, in some cases, visitation can be denied. For example, if you pose a physical threat to the children, you may be denied visitation.

Right to Paternity

You are entitled to be a father to your own children. However, you should be careful not to lose this right. For example, if the mother of your children remarries, and the stepfather is willing to adopt your child, you may lose your paternity rights. Therefore before you agree to such an agreement, you should fully understand your situation. If you are not conversant of the law, please consult an expert on family law before you agree to the arrangement. However, in some states, you may still have some rights to paternity even after your children have been adopted.

As a parent, you also have the right to know what is happening to your children. Therefore you may have access to their school report cards, their medical records and any other records. You also have a right to receive a paternity leave.

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Backpack Safety Tips For Your Kids

Going to school is a physically demanding task for kids, especially those who are just starting out. They have to wake up early everyday to catch the bus and endure a full day in classes. They also have to carry a heavy pack full of books and that can take a toll on their back. Parents can help their children cope by providing them a good backpack that will lessen the stress on their small bodies. Here are a few kids backpack safety rules:

The Weight of the Pack

The books are already going to be extremely heavy and you don’t want to add to that by given them a weighty pack. Choose something that is fairly light yet has enough cushioning and other protective features. It should be large enough to accommodate everything than needs to be carried so that there won’t be a need for another bag for items that won’t fit. If there are lockers at the school, the unnecessary books at the moment should be placed there to reduce their burden between classes.

The Shoulder Straps

Never buy a pack with only one shoulder strap. There must always be two and both have to be used at the same time to balance out the load on the shoulders. Otherwise, one side will always feel more stress. Children may experience posture issues down the road. The shoulder traps should be wide and adequately padded to distribute pressure.

The Waist Strap

Packs that have a waist strap may be considered if the load is unusually heavy. This strap will ease some of the load on the shoulder by transferring it onto the hip bone. This is a system that hikers use themselves to manage carrying their large backpacks on long hikes in the mountains.

The Padded Back

Aside from books, kids may be carrying pencils, scissors and other sharp objects inside their pack. These may protrude at the back and cause discomfort. Be sure to buy something with thick foam padding for this area to protect them from possible bruising.

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